we will become silhouettes

I’m alright. My day wasn’t the best.

Today was the first day back from spring break. 1st was alright. I failed my math exam, which really is disappointing because I tried my best. And then, after lunch, I dropped my books in front of this girls locker by mistake. Heaven forbid. And the dumb cunt kicked them. That put me in a shit mood. But then I talked to my 4th block teacher for a good 10 minutes and she’s going to set me up for clinicals next year.

I’m getting a haircut this week, which I need. I get to see Ryan tomorrow. I didn’t get to see him today for the first time in 11 days. It sucks so bad. I had gotten used to spending the majority of my time with him, and now, i’m lonely as hell.

I don’t feel good today. I think I caught another damn cold. I didn’t get enough sleep either.

Tomorrow the weather is supposed to be nice. I hope it will be, because i’m hating this cold weather.

Only 2 months of school left. I’m really glad. I’m beginning to hate Princeton High with a passion. And a little over 2 weeks until Washington DC. I need to get out of this town, so bad.

I miss my grandma, horribly. This summer won’t be the same without her. Well, everything isn’t the same without her around. I really owe a lot to her.

I hate when people ignore me.

Roanoke in the morning! I’m exited. Today has been good. I spent a lot of time with Ryan today, and in the afternoon tomorrow he’s coming over. I can’t wait.

I don’t really want to go back to school. At all. I’ve gotten used to this pattern every day and now I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to deal with all the dumb shits at the school. I don’t want to get up early. At least I only have April and May to go..Then summer.

20 days until Washington DC.

I had the scariest dream last night. So bad I woke up with chills. :[

This weekend has been great. I’ve gotten to see Ryan every day. And I get to see him every day until Sunday night. I’m a happy girl! ahah. Less than a month until the Washington DC trip..I’m really exited. This week is going to be good as well.

I’m dying my hair tonight. And I’m going to start on some more artwork. I got my ears up to a 0. Which really isn’t that big, but I’m getting somewhere!

I miss Ryan already. Shit.

So i’ve been pretty alright lately. I’m in my 3rd block..I finally finished all my exams. I hope I did okay. Mom’s supposed to get me in an hour. Today is the last day of school. And then I get 9 days off. Yay Spring break.

I haven’t been feeling well for the past week or so. I don’t know why, it’s just I’m tired all the time, and just not feeling good in general. Eh, i’ll be okay I guess.

This week is going to be great. I get to spend all my time with Ryan, and i’m really looking forward to that. I love him so much.

I really want to go home. My head hurts, my ears are sore and i’m sleepy. I probably should save hyrule too.. :]

PS. Edge says hiiii.

So yesterday and today was great.

Yesterday, mom got me out of school early. I got my earrings in the mail, then came home, and took a nap. When I woke up Ryan was here, and we went out and spent the day together. This morning he picked me up again, for Kk’s birthday party.

We went up to my Dad’s from like..1 until 8. Then, we went to this tattoo parlor, because Todd as playing guitar there. Then we went to his house and cuddled, then I came home at 11. He sang you are my sunshine to me, and it was the damned sweetest thing ever! Therefore..Today was wonderful.

I wish I could spend every day with him. But not too much longer, and I will be. That makes me so happy.

Um.. Kristen is making me incredibly mad recently..The other day I stayed home from school. I only had 2 hours of sleep and I felt like complete shit. Good enough reason to stay home, right? Well Todd told me that she was like, “Hehe I bet she used the crying excuse again.”

Just because I cry easily, she said that. It’s not my fault that she’s an insensitive bitch and never shows emotion. Mom thinks she’s jealous of me. And you know, I think she’s right. She acts like she is. Because she’s always talking shit about me. She’s always shit talking what Ryan and I have. She referres to me as a shitty artist, too.

She’s almost 18 and still acts like she’s 10. She still whines to her mom about everything. When I have a problem, I don’t go to Mommy. I fix it myself. She doesn’t want to drive. She never goes to school, for no reason. She doesn’t want to move out. She makes fun of me for everything, behind my back. And once, I confronted her about it, and she laughed in my face.

She shit-talks the fact that my best friend doesn’t live here. She says, “Well, you can’t have a best friend in a completely different country. That’s stupid.” Yes I can. The only reason she says that, she’s never had a damn best friend. She’s never had someone to go to and be there for her. You know whyyy? She’s god damn immature.

I’m done ranting about her. It’s not even worth talking about anymore.

One more week of school and it’s spring break. I’m glad for that. I think i’m going to get all comfy and lay down and call my pretty love machine. :]

So, i’ve had a shitty fucking day. All i’m going to say is that people have been ignoring me and avoiding me all day. And people are just assholes.

I’m in a terrible mood. People aren’t helping. I need a hug.

I stayed home from school today.

I woke up and I was so tired. I was getting up and getting ready, and I kept drifting off. While I was sitting there fixing my hair. So I stayed home and slept.

I just woke up, and it’s nearly 4 in the evening. I didn’t get my earrings today, which sucks. I should be getting them tomorrow, since they didn’t come in today.

The week after next is spring break. Ryan and I are going to see a comedian the 28th, I think. And we’re spending the day in Roanoke. I don’t know if I already said that, but oh well. I saw him yesterday for a long time and it was nice, as always.

I can’t wait until this summer. I’m going to wait until then to get a job. Because if I did now, I wouldn’t have time for anything. With school and all. It’ll be a good summer this year. I’m going to stay with family like I always do. Travis and Spencer are coming to visit. I’ll get to see my boy all the time. It’ll just be great.

I don’t have much else to talk about, so i’m going to leave it at this.

These past couple days have been great.

I’ve seen Ryan for 2 days in a row. Both days have been great. Yesterday I went to Blacksburg with a bunch of girls and went shopping. It was okay, I just wish we wouldn’t have stayed so long. Then Ryan got me and we went to his place. And today I woke up, called him, and pretty much spent the day with him. It was great.

He’s going to Washington DC with me next month. I’m really exited about that. I’ll get to spend 3 days with him. It’ll be so nice. I’ll have someone to sleep on on the way there and i’ll have someone to talk to the whole time. Haha, listen to me.

He wrote me a letter the other day. And it had to have been the nicest things someone’s ever said. And like you said Ryan, I do think we were made for each other. :]

Someone who’s name will not be mentioned has been really getting under my skin. She used to be my best friend, but now; she’s just childish. I talked to her earlier and I realized how immature she is. It’s rediculous.

Well..I have a lot more to say but I don’t feel like typing it out. Maybe I will later. I’m going to go take a nice bubble bath.

Yetserday made 7 months for Ryan and I.

I’m really happy about that. Because I know I have someone who treats me like I should be treated, and really does love me. I know he’ll never hurt me intentionally. I won’t ever hurt him. I’m really thankful for someone like him. He’s fixed everything that was wrong.

We spent the day together yesterday. He got me at school, and we went back to his place. We took a nap for a couple of hours. Then we did other things and went to dinner.

I don’t really know how to put it all. I’m just extremely happy for once. I’ve been hurt a lot in the past and it’s so nice for a change to have someone like him. He’s so caring and amazing. I’ve never met such a person.

Honey, I want to turn this into forever too. I love you with everything in me. :]