we will become silhouettes

Today was pretty good.

I spent the majority of it with Ryan, nothing new. But there’s nothing wrong with that. He always makes my day good.

A certain someone/subject has been irritating the fuck out of me lately..I’m not going to mention any names. But this kid who’s ‘gay’ has a crush on new boy who’s ‘gay.’ I’m almost positive that new boy is gay. But I don’t believe said person is. I think he’s doing it for attention..

Basically. New kid is weirded out by above mentioned. New kid tells me ‘He weirds me the fuck out.’ He rejects him, very bluntly, more than once. And this kid is not giving up. And he’s complaining to me about it all.

Well.. I guess all I have to say is I’ve about had it with said kid. New kid is nice. But said kid is stalking new kid, and it’s annoying everyone.

Anyways. I see Ryan Thursday, and Friday. We’re going with Jeff and Tabbi to see Iron Man Friday night and I’m looking forward to that.

I ordered Crank and White Oleander Saturday night. I’m looking forward to reading those, they seem like good books. I’ve started reading a hell of a lot lately, again.

I guess I have nothing else interesting to talk about..I’m letting the brother on the computer now. Halo time.

So I’m back up near D.C.

I’m staying with my Aunt tonight, and tomorrow night. We’re leaving early Sunday morning. Today we got here at around 4 P.M, and I’m exhausted.

I went to school today and worked on my sculpture some. It’s starting to look a little human, and that makes me happy. Then I went to math class, started a quiz, then Dad got us. We met Ryan in town, so I could get the Halo novels from him. And it was also an excuse to give him hugs and kisses before I left.

All I’ve been doing here is sitting on the computer, and on the phone. And eating. More eating.

Tomorrow I get to see my Uncle Chris and Paw Paw. I’m really glad..I haven’t seen Paw Paw since this past summer..And I haven’t seen Chris since Granny’s funeral. I miss them so much.

I’m not feeling the best. My tummy hurts and I’m so tired. I’ll probably end up sleeping soon. I was on the phone for the longest time, but I got off so I could go have coffee with my Aunt and talk to them for a bit. Now I’m here waiting on everyone to go to bed.

I’m sleeping on a huge couch tonight by myself. With my grandma’s dog, and it’ll be nice. I need some by myself time. I’ve been reading The Fall of Reach on and off all day, and it’s great.

I love being with everyone up here, but I miss my boo so much. I saw him earlier today, but barely for 10 minutes. It’s better than nothing..At least I got to see him.

We’ve gotten so much closer recently. I don’t think I’ve ever let my guard down for someone like this, and it feels great.. I have someone who will love me and accept me for who I am. I have someone to talk to all the time. I have someone to take care of and to take care of me. It’s wonderful..I can’t see myself without him, ever.

I’m going to go and wind down now, more tomorrow maybe.

I just got home from Washington D.C. last night.

I had a really good time. The first day there was nerve-wracking, and tiring, though. I didn’t get any sleep that night and it was so hot. And there was this dumb girl who wouldn’t stop flirting with Ryan, and it pissed me off.

But everything we saw that day was nice, I would have enjoyed it more if I wasn’t so exhausted.
We went to the WWII memorial, and there’s a big fountain there, and we stuck our feet in it. It was nice! Haha. The first day was kind of a blur, though.

I went to bed pretty early that night. Ryan came into the room I as staying in and we cuddled for a while and then went to sleep. I woke up at 5:20 the next morning. My nose ring was gone and I couldn’t find it! So I just let it close up. Then we went to breakfast downstairs.

We went to the Arlington National Cemetery, and it was kind of overwhelming. There were hundreds of thousands of graves. Maybe over a million..I don’t know. We saw Kennedy’s grave, and The tomb of the unknown soldier. The guards were so robotic.

That night we went to the mall, and I was dumb and spent over 100.00 dollars within an hour. But I stretched my ears again and bought some nice undies with the money. I dyed Emily’s hair that night, too, but it was cheap dye and it turned out blue instead of black. Then Ryan came back to the room again and we spent some time with each other there, and outside.

The last day there was good as well. We went to the Smithsonian and turns out it was Earth day too. They had tents up, and a concert. We walked through all the tents, and got a bunch of free stuff. We didn’t go to the concert because it was raining a little, so we went into the Natural History museum. There were dinosaur bones in there! It was so cool. But this girl in our group was dumb and ran off on us. We went back outside to wait on the bus, and it was raining so hard. Everyone got soaked but us! Ha.

Then we got on the bus and left for home. Ryan and I talked a lot on the way back. I slept a little bit. I have so much more to talk about the trip, but I have to unpack and get ready. More later.

I’m good! Today was nice..I went to school at noon. Ryan picked me up and I spent the day with him. Always wonderful.

Washington DC is Thursday night..I’m really looking forward to it. I know I keep mentioning it but I have nothing else to talk about. And I’m really exited about it. Derr.

My Dad is out of the hospital now. Hopefully I get to spend some time with him tomorrow. I haven’t seen him since Ryan and myself went up there to shoot guns. And that’s been a while..I should spend more time with Dad but It’s hard to go up there, with Amy up there and all. I can’t stand that woman..She’s caused so much trouble.

On a different note..This summer I think I’m going to try and write a book. Or a short story. And I’m serious about it. I already have an idea, but It’s a surprise. I’m not sure how I feel about it, but once I write it all down and work with it I’ll see how it goes.

Well, Halo time.

I haven’t updated in a while…I guess I’ve just gotten lazy. I shouldn’t do that.

Everything is going alright. I’m getting tired of school. We only have 2 months which is good. I’ve made a lot of new friends this year..It’s nice for a change.

Things with Ryan and I are going wonderful. And I am very thankful for that.

Tomorrow I’m going to Wake Forest with Mom. She’s getting more shots, and then we’re going to Old Navy. Then, I’m coming home and seeing my boy..And maybe a Halo tournament. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day. I have to wake up at 5:30-6ish. Eeehhhh.

I bootlegged the new Thrice album. It’s wonderful. They are so talented.

My Dad’s coming home from the hospital tomorrow. It’s gotten to the point where Amy bothers him so much that he checks himself into a hospital. And this is the third time he’s done this..Just to get away from her. He’s constantly complaining about her, and I really don’t blame him.

She’s so controlling, it’s getting so bad. She keeps his phone when he’s in the hospital. She didn’t give me the number I could call him at. She keeps him on an allowance. She manages all the money. She makes most of the decisions. And the house arrangements. She tried to even get inheritance from my grandmother.

I’m so tired of her controlling my Dad. He deserves way better than her, and it’s not fair. He’s such a hard-working person and she doesn’t care. She treats him like a child. I really wish I could do something. But I guess I can’t.

Anyways..I’m going to go and eat.

Today was good..Now I’m not the best though.

I spent the day with the love again, and that was nice as always. Mom told me to be home at 8:30 “So we could spend time together.” Guess what. I get home, she’s stuck up Ash’s ass and won’t even speak to me. Ryan left 10 minutes ago and she hasn’t come out of their room. And while he was here, she wouldn’t even say hi.

I can’t wait to leave this house..I hate it so much. If it wasn’t for Todd I’d leave. I feel unwelcome here. In my own home. My privacy isn’t respected, I’m not respected. All because “I’m not an adult.” Well sorry to tell you, but I’m more mature than your stupid ass.

As soon as I turn 18 I’m leaving and moving in with Ryan. I don’t care what she does, because I’ll be legal and she won’t be able to tell me what to do anymore. It’s really bad when you don’t even feel welcome in your own home. And you feel more welcome at your boyfriends house.

I’m getting really sick of this. I need a couple days of sleep, lots of cuddling and some food. :[

I feel really sick. But today was good..I’m so tired of school. It’s rediculous. Summer plz.

I got to see Ryan today. Mom let me go in late, so I went to school at about 12:30 and I didn’t do anything all day. Then Ryan picked me up, we went to sonic, and then spent around an hour up at east river. We took lots of pictures, then went back to his house and watched a movie. Then him, Todd, and myself sat outside and talked until around 11.

I’ve been listening to Brand New quite a bit lately. They’re talented.

Today it was so nice. The weather was perfect and it was sunny and pretty. I hope it stays like this, I hate cold weather. Good riddance.

I need to get to bed soon, but I feel like saying some things!

Next week makes 8 months for Ryan and I.. It seems like yesterday we got together. Now it’s flying by and soon it’ll be a year..And so on. I plan on being with him forever. He makes me so happy. I feel so lucky to have someone like him. I love spending time with him, laying there and just having him next to me. I can’t wait to spend forever with him. I’d have it no other way. :]

I love you, dear. You’re so special to me.